I've mentioned that my boss was recently made a bishop, and that we've shared our thoughts on wondering how today's kids will survive today, both of us freely admitting that things would likely have been very different for us if we hadn't actually had to have connections to track down a tattered Playboy back-issue or bribe a friend's big brother to go rent an R movie with a few, fleeting frames of flesh. I've assumed the self-appointed role of his Eyes On The Street, providing him with intel that he can use to understand what the kids are up against. Maybe because it makes me feel like something good might come from my encounters with the gutter. Or because the pretense of the greater good gives me another excuse to linger around the gutter.
The other day, I sent him a batch of three items that I'd seen over the last little while.
The first was the cover story of a recent Weekly Standard, a report of the trenches of the singles scene:
Thanks to late marriage, easy divorce, and the well-paying jobs that the feminist revolution has wrought for women, the bars, clubs, sidewalks, and subway straps of nearly every urban center in America overflow every weekend with females, young and not so young, bronzed, blonded, teeth-whitened, and dressed in the maximal cleavage and minimal skirt lengths that used to be associated with streetwalkers but nowadays is standard garb for lawyers and portfolio managers on a girls’ night out.
(As an amusing side note: My mother-in-law gave us the Standard subscription as a gift, in part to ensure--she said basically as much--that I was being exposed to "balanced and objective" reporting. While she was staying with us to help after the birth of our baby, she expressed concern that our daughter had mentioned having read an article in a news magazine to which I subscribe about, among other things, platonic-yet-weird "sleepovers" Elvis had with teenage girls in Memphis during the early years of his career. I agreed that I wasn't thrilled that our daughter had read this, but disagreed with my wife and her mom that the only solution was to cancel the subscription and not allow that kind of stuff into our home in the first place. Literally within a week of that discussion, the Standard issue arrived, with cover art that would undoubtedly pique the curiosity of a ten year old and content that would leave little to her imagination. I solemnly expressed my concern that our daughter may read articles of this nature in this magazine and that the only solution was to cancel the subscription and not allow that kind of stuff into our home in the first place. I couldn't resist. Cruel. Hilarious.)The next was an article about hooking up:
What is hooking up? If you don’t know, then you’re probably at least 40. Hooking up can involve anything from kissing and heavy petting to oral sex and intercourse, but what all hookups have in common is that the physical involvement precedes an emotional relationship—if the latter develops at all. “In the dating era, students would go on a date, which might lead to something sexual,” says Kathleen Bogle, a sociologist at Philadelphia’s La Salle University. “In the hookup era, students hook up, which might lead to dating.”
Finally, I sent him a link to a Frontline series called "The Merchants of Cool," about the relentless and astonishingly innovative efforts of corporations to own the hearts, minds and wallets of teens. I'd first been made aware of it several years ago, when I spent most of my working day doing advertising. As a marketing professional, I was fascinated. As the father of a too-soon-to-be-teenage girl, I was petrified. Evolving technology has already rendered some of its elements a tad outdated, but it should still be mandatory viewing for anyone who has any stewardship over any teen. In fact, at one point I was going to give a fireside to parents of our YM/YW using core elements of this documentary as the feature exhibit and discussion catalyst, but found that I was having to edit so much of the content (for fear of someone being offended by the tree and missing the message of the forest) that the effect was utterly neutralized, and I ended up canceling the fireside.
As I hit Send on this message that would help my boss to help other peoples' children, I was reminded that I need to prepare my kids for this, and that it will become increasingly difficult to improvise my way through their adolescence. That night, I read an article in the current Ensign about being an influential father:
In addition to teaching gospel principles, there are a number of things fathers can do that will influence their children for good, no matter what stage of life they are in. These include living a gospel-centered life, showing appropriate affection, disciplining with love, listening effectively, spending one-on-one time together, and seeking creative ways to participate in a child’s life.
21. And the dad said, Most of these (the primary exception being the "gospel-centered life," as it is most likely defined by this author -- a life that demonstrates Christian behavior and is, on the surface, generally obedient to the strictures of the Mormon faith, yes; but one that is immersed body and soul in the Gospel as interpreted and promulgated by the LDS Church? Can't say that I am.) have I kept from my youth up.
22. Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto him, Yet lackest thou one thing: abandon thy lust, and cleave only unto thy wife, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me.
23. And when he heard this, he was very sorrowful: for he did love him some killer kalves and wondered, "How can I be that person, that 'influential father,' in full sincerity and with any degree of effectiveness, when a big part of me is pulled forcefully toward the things I'd admonish against? When for every 'That's evil and contrary to The Plan' thought, I have two 'Why wasn't I in on that scene when I was single? And why can't I be a part of it now?' thoughts?"
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