Body Mass Sindex

My work this afternoon on a presentation that my boss's boss will make next week of higher-ups required that I track down some images of both slim and not-so-slim people measuring their bellies. Interesting, but probably not surprising, what a Google images search for something as benign as "slim stomach measure" will produce. As I looked over all of those taut, twenty-something midriffs (and e-mailed my I.T. department an explanation of why their surf sirens were probably sounding), familiar and frustrating feelings of wistfulness mixed with anger mixed with resignation arose, that I really, really want to "know" a body like that, so much that, under just the wrong circumstances I'd give up almost anything for a single night or even a few hours of knowing, but most likely never will do so, and that nothing suggests that these pangs will subside -- at least not until I myself am decidedly old, fat, bald and broke, and therefore inarguably no longer a candidate for partnership with such a physique.